9 Times Calories Don’t Count (Or Shouldn’t)

Guilty Pleasures | Kaitlyn Beck | December 16, 2015

  • Copied

Food is hateful; it’s so pretty and tempting. Food has the power to ruin a healthy eating week, or cancel out the 45 minutes of cardio you just sweated through. Food is a sneaky little b*tch. It’s like the ex you hookup with every now and then – satisfying but not worth the guilt that follows. Food guilt is the worst. Calories are the worst. But in some circumstances, calorie gods eliminate calories from the equation and whatever you consume is a ~*freebie*~.

9 situations in which calories don’t count:

1. After a breakup. The most vital circumstance for a junk-food fest. You can get that Khloe Kardashian post-breakup from Lamar Odom bod after the chocolate and carbs. Food is good for the soul in these situations, and in these cases, it’s forgiven.

2. During finals week. Try surviving a week of finals without stress eating. The brain is working overtime – therefore probably burning calories we’re not even aware of yet. For this reason, ordering pizza to the library won’t affect your daily calorie intake. (Thanks brain!!!)

3. Late at night. Midnight munchies are too real. Especially if you’re on a late-night schedule. Good news though!! The hours between midnight and 5 a.m. are all you can eat, calorie free!

4. In small bites. I can’t be the only one who eats ice-cream out of the carton. Disregard scooping it into a bowl completely. If no dishes were used in the consumption, no calories were counted, right??

5. Drunchies. First of all, it’s not our fault the drinks made us lose all impulse control. Secondly, most of the time the food will help cancel out the future hangover. Aka, it’s necessary to prevent illness. Some may even say it’s beneficial to our health. Calories extra don’t count if you have limited or complete lack of recollection of the consumption.

6. If it’s shared. Did you and your best-friend split a plate at dinner? Not only is this cost beneficial, but the calorie gods appreciate the ability to share. Sharing is caring. Therefore, all is forgiven.

7. During a movie. Thankfully, no calories count during movie night. Popcorn and soda have the reverse effect when consumed in a movie theatre. Duh.

8. On vacation. This is universally known. Calories don’t count if outside your area of residency. Being a few states over is one thing, but a different country? Oh, even less. Get the complete traveling experience.

9. Over the Holidays. Thankfully the calorie gods are flexible and understanding and therefore able to cancel out that turkey-day binge fest. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Halloween..you name it, it’s forgiven. Our ancestors founded and established these holidays around food and dining with loved ones. Who are we to ruin or stray from tradition??

There are many factors that go into the counting of daily calories. For some reason, various health professionals and weight-loss technology trackers will try and steer you from this belief. However, who are we to say we know more than the calorie gods?? Next time you’re adding up your daily food intake, consider this article.


Photo by: http://hellogiggles.com/4-technology-signs-youre-ex/elle-woods-eating-chocolate/